Pyuria – “Calliphobia Vomitoria Introitus”
With a name like Calliphobia Vomitoria Introitus (These guys must have traveled a long way to get here from ancient Rome! Alas, Julius Caesar, they speak Latin, too! You, too, Brutus!), it has to be good, right? I don’t know about all that, yo. Let’s do the duck test! Does it look like gore metal duck? Yes, the cover is a typical dead person thing. Does it walk like a gore metal duck? Yes, the endless chugging, the blasting, the monotonous, repetitiveness makes this boring. Does it quack like a gore metal duck? Oh, boy, does it ever! The generic growling and screaming says so. I tell you, I was bored by the time the first song ended. The guitar “work” sounds like the guitar “player” puts his fingers anywhere on the fretboard where he can get the chugga-chugga sound and then repeats that sound over and over and over until it’s about three minutes and then he tells his band, “Hey, guys, I just wrote another brutal, skullcrushing, maggot-eating, brutal, fast, violent, brutal song, man!!!” The rest of the band says: “Cool! Maybe we can tour with Mortician and Skinless and play in Illinois, the brutal gore capital of the world!!” Ah, yes, Illinois. So much gore, so little time. There’s so much gore death there and I want to give it very little time.